First you have to forget everything you have learned about me. I am just going to share a story with you, whether you take it for reality or fiction is completely up to you. It is just a story, nothing more. Enjoy.
Like most stories go there was a girl who met a boy and was immediately smitten with him. He was her first crush. All other boys up to this point where just friends, playmates, other kids to run around the playground with. This boy was different though, he made her feel different, it was good feeling. These kids grew up together, became friends with a weird relationship, but friends none the less. She always knew she liked him, but she was so scared of even mentioning it to him, because she knew he could never feel the same way. So the older they got the more she wanted to tell him. Because he didn't know this, but he literally made her knees weak and just with a smirk. So one day, with the encouragement of some friends, she got up the courage and did the schoolgirl thing and wrote him a letter, right before summer break. She was right to choose that time, because the letter he wrote back broke her heart. And at twelve it takes a whole summer to mend a broken heart. Although they said it wouldn't affect their friendship, it did.
So two years passed before they spoke again and even then it was a few words in passing, nothing like before. Then it happened, they became friends again, not close friends, but enough so that they could hold a conversation. And it started all over again, this boy who was now a teen had this pull on her heart, one she could not explain not even to her closest friends. He wasn't the type of boy she should be interested in, because he didn't seem to be that nice of a person. She didn't see any of that though, all she knew was what she felt, and he made her feel all sorts of crazy.
She couldn't do this again, she couldn't put herself through this to be turned down and brokenhearted. So she played it cool and acted like nothing he did would bother her. It worked for a minute, until he tried to kiss her that first time, her first kiss. She moved so fast his face almost hit the wall behind her. Her mind exploded, what in the world was going on. This was all she ever wanted and now she was shutting him down. She was shutting him down because it was all she had ever wanted. What if it was nothing like she had imagined, what if he just hurt her again. This was her first kiss, something she waited so long for. This could be the best or worst thing ever.
She laughed him off and walked away, she wasn't ready, not yet. A couple weeks passed and the next time he tried to kiss her she didn't stop him. She was scared as hell, but she didn't stop him. One thing she did do was lie through her teeth to him. When he asked if that was her first kiss, she said of course not. She had kissed this other really specific person last summer or some lie to that effect. He couldn't have that part of her, or at least he couldn't know that she had given that part of her to him. It would give him more power over her heart than she could handle. Wasn't it enough that this was the first boy she had ever liked, did he really have to be the first one she kissed.
They never dated. She was always so afraid of asking him for more and she was smart enough to know better, so they just stayed friends. Friends who occasionally kissed. It never went passed that, she wouldn't allow herself to go there. They got through the last couple of years of school in and out of contact with each other. The last few months were the most interesting.
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