Relieved, confused, and kinda scared

So I finally went to the doctor this week. I have been feeling like crap for the past few months, in all honestly I have felt like crap for the past 5 years. So I went fully expecting to hear what I always hear when I go to the doctor, "You are fine, you simply have anxiety." No, shit I have anxiety. At this point I am anxious about being anxious, then there is just this whole downward spiral. Anyway this time was different. I wasn't going to the the doctor simply for my anxiety, but because after all these years of trying to manage it, it seemed to be getting worse. So I go to this new doctor and after waiting an hour past my scheduled appointment, within five min of seeing him it was like the fog had lifted. There was a problem with my thyroid gland. What? I had web md'd myself a million times before and all my symptoms always came down to a handful of medical conditions, anxiety, depression, and a hormone/ thyroid problem. So color me shocked when it turns out that I may have been misdiagnosed for all of these years. Not one single doctor ever thought or mentioned the idea that I might not be depressed but that there might be a physical problem causing me to feel the way I have been feeling. A series of test had to be done and I won't get the official results for a couple more days, but he did find nodules on my thyroid. I don't want to get ahead of myself and wonder what will happen now. It is so sad because this condition could be really serious, but I was so relieved when I realized I am not crazy and someone was finally listening to ALL of my symptoms. I might have a long road that could include a biopsy, surgery, or a lifetime of pills, but it is like this weight was lifted off of my shoulders. It means that I am not this lazy failure who did not live up to their potential. I don't know exactly how long I have been dealing with this, I just know it was like a light switched off inside of me one day. I stopped being me. I was this version of me who was just trying to get through each and every day. I have had a decent life with some heartaches and setbacks, but I have Always been a fighter. I have Always forced my way through to get what I thought I deserved. One day I just stopped fighting. I was content with getting through each day by going through the motions. Occasionally, you could find spurts of the real me, if you looked hard enough. I miss me. I am so tired of being the girl with dreams, plans, and goals. I wanna be the girl that gets stuff done and does it beautifully. I can't get back any of the past five years and I don't know if I would change anything, but it is hard to not think about how things might be different. I don't know that this diagnosis will actually change anything. I still have a long road ahead of me, but I am gonna start fighting again. I know somewhere in the haze there is some fire left inside of me. I am not going to give up. I will be a fully functioning member of society. I will do great things. I will stop dreaming and start doing.